days off, birthdays and stairs

I took a day off yesterday and after waking at 7 to wake Bennett up and hurry him along to school, I went back to bed and slept until 11:15 - I really must have needed that sleep. After that I felt normal, and no longer wanted to shed water from my eyes. Good news!

I had to sneak out at 2:30 (I say sneak because it always feels naughty if you go out when you have taken a day off school) to get a birthday present for my nephew. In the madness of the last week I had not had a chance to buy him one. I knew what I had to get him so I was only out for 20mins. I also bought the most amazing chocolate cake from Moore Wilsons for him. We planned to go over to my nephew's place later in the afternoon to give him the present and cake. But then the stairs at my house had other ideas for my day.

The stairs at my house have already been nasty - some might remember when Louise had a broken arm a couple of years ago - I have been up and down these stairs hundreds of times in the last year and a half and never have I had any problems. But yesterday evening when stairs met socks things went bad. I slipped backwards, fell onto the stairs on my hips and arm and then proceeded to slide down 4 or 5 stairs on my hips.

I am feeling very sore today. Not quite the way I was hoping I would feel going back to school today. Although I am physically sore, I am no longer mentally sore so I think it will all be okay.

Exhaustion

I think I might be on the brink of exhaustion. Today I cried at school. Not in front of a class, not because someone was angry with me, not cause I did anything wrong. But just because I am exhausted and I needed the world and the work to stop and it wouldn't.

My year 11 class have just had their first major production. I had two groups doing the same play, which meant twice as many rehearsals. In fact, last week it was every lunchtime for an hour, after school for almost 2 hours and in the weekend for 3 hours. After rehearsing in the weekend I had to write all of my senior reports because they were due today and I had no other time to write them. I was pretty sure I didn't have a weekend.

Only to come back to school on Monday and Tuesday and put in 12 hour days. Teaching, rehearsing, technical run through and performance at night. Oh how I was looking forward to Wednesday. Until some lovely person reminded me that Wednesday night was Open evening. Where all the parents of potential year 9 students come and wander around the highly decorated school and I wax lyrical about all the wonderful things I can do for their Gifted and Talented students (as this is my new role this year)

My give-a-fuck-ometer died today at 3pm as I was trying to set up my display. And I cried. I am tired and want school to stop. I feel a mental health day coming on, sadly it will be spent writing junior reports from home.

Australia sucks

My blogger account has been doing some funny stuff - not letting me log in when I try to and asking for account verification - hence why I have not been keeping you updated or posting any comments. I think I have it sorted now so will give posting a go.
On Thursday night I travelled to Taranaki to see my Mum...well kinda...I have seen her a little bit, that is when I have not been tucked away in Naki Guy's house.
I have sad news on the update front, Naki guy is going to become Aussie guy. I think this may also make him Single guy. I can work a long distance relationship from this far away(sort of, it's painful but do-able) But Australia is so bloody far away, way too far for someone like me who is deathly afraid of flying and way too poor to buy regular tickets to go.
This plan to go to Australia was one he had before we meet again. I must admit I really had hoped he would change his mind but it is not looking likely. He is very keen to keep a long distance thing going but I think he is being very optimistic or doesn't know me well enough yet(I need way more attention than you can possibly give from thousands of miles away!)
So right now I think Australia is the worst country in the world. Full of Aussies and soon to be one Naki Guy.

sorry for my absence

It is inexcusable of me to be away so long. My only excuse and it is a lame and vomit inducing one is that love has made my brain mushy and I am finding it hard to write a coherent sentence. But hey, I never let that stop me before so why should it now.
I know you can't tell this because you are reading this sentence straight after the last one, but this sentence has taken 10 minutes to come into existence since the last one. I sat here thinking about what else I could write about other than Naki guy, Bennett and school. Which is basically my life in a nut shell.
I can't. So lets start with Naki guy. It is very very hard not to fall in love with a guy that constantly sends me witty, endearing, charming, crazy emails, facebook messages and texts, and who tells me every day that I am beautiful and that he loves me. I tried really hard to not be totally swept away by that but I failed, happily. Now that I have made you sick I will move on to Bennett.
Bennett is loving high school now, apparently enjoying it a little too much on the social side as I had my first ever negative comment at a parent teacher interview "Bennett needs to stop chatting in class" My mother would call this karma. The other big news in Bennett world is that he can finally beat me in a wrestle without me letting him win. He can pick me up, sit on me and make me almost cry with pain and laughter cause he won't let me up. He picked me up a while ago and declared "haha, I have caught a midget" he is lucky I still love him. Especially now that I have a love substitute.
School. The last and most time consuming part of my life. It is all rehearsals and awkward turtles at the moment. Does Wainui have awkward turtles? Awkward flagpoles? Sad lamas, happy lamas, super lamas, drama lamas???? Or is this all the foreign language of a girls school? If so my next post will be all about the awkward turtle.

Update

Tomorrow I leave Taranaki and head back to Wellington. I am sad about this, not because I am feeling sick and have pulled a muscle in my back (although they will be adding to my misery during my 5 and a half hour drive) I am mostly sad because I will be leaving behind my boyfriend. YES! You heard right! My boyfriend!
Five plus years of being a singleton is over, I am sure you can imagine how much that makes me happy. But I can not put into words how much he makes me happy. Being fussy and waiting for someone perfect has paid off.
End update....but if you have any questions feel free to ask.

cloud 8

I am almost on cloud 9, the weekend was fantastic! "so why not cloud 9?" I hear Richard's imaginary crowd shout all the way from his blog.
Well I miss him now that he is back in Taranaki, and missing someone sucks. Better to have someone to miss though, and I must keep reminding myself of that. I have found very little time to blog (but hey, what's new??) because I have been at work, or on the phone or texting or skyping Naki guy. Am I obsessed? Yes, a little.
In just 9 sleeps I will be driving up to Taranaki to spend the whole two weeks there and we are both looking forward to spending more than just two nights together.
"We are so happy for you Fflur!" Thanks Richard's imaginary crowd, I am very happy too.

Four days no teaching

My school in all its infinite wisdom has decided to have a mid-term break. This means four days off for the students and three days off for the teachers, with a teacher only day on thrown in on Monday (so four days off teaching)
I felt a real sense of relief today after school. That I had four days to catch up on the huge load of work that has been waiting patiently on my desk for quite some time.
It might get done.....

Last night was my Year 12 assessment evening, which went really well, apart from when I nearly broke my knee. I was madly running around backstage organising a group when in the darkness of the blackout I walked straight into a big black wooden box. I now have a big bruise on my knee to go with the bruises on my arms and hand from a blood test, and about 20 flea bites. I am really pleased with these body decorations as Naki guy comes down for the weekend tomorrow morning....excellent, looking so hot right now!

Please don't expect any updates during my four days off - but four days without me is no real hard ask. I will let you all know how the weekend went on Tuesday.

ARRRGGGHHHH

If I ever did a PhD I would do it about homework. Not about the effectiveness of homework because apart from the fact that that has been done loads of times before, I am not interested. I think homework is pointless and no research is going to change my mind on that.
Nope, my research would be about homework and its ability to destroy relationships. I have NEVER EVER EVER had a pleasant homework experience with Bennett. It makes us argue, fight, slam doors, stop talking to each other etc etc.
I am not the only one that suffers through the homework pain, my sister also experiences it with her children and I am fairly sure there would be more of us out there whose family relationships are tested every night thanks to pointless homework.
It is not only my family relationships that are strained because of homework, I also feel it as a teacher. Set homework. Student does not complete homework. Have terse discussion, or not. Set detention. Student comes or doesn't come to detention. Set more homework. Still not done...etc etc etc. It ain't building relationships and that is what we are meant to be aiming for.
I am sick of the daily battle. I want homework to stop being a wedge between us. When me and my son come home from a full day of school the last thing either one of us bloody wants to do is more bloody school work! I want to spend time with him, talking to him about stuff that interests us, doing family stuff. Where oh where is my family time????
I want to tell him not to do it, I want to tell the school I will not support him doing it. But equally I want him to get along in the world, and that means doing what is asked of you and following the rules. So I won't, but I will say something very eloquent about how much a hate it, which is F you homework.

Update for Richard

Just for Richard - although if anyone else would like to read it they may.
Firstly and most importantly my Year 11 Drama class had their assessment today and I would say that the "soldiering on" that I did paid off, as I was immensely proud of their achievements. My students always blow me away with their passion and energy when performing and they make me love my job.
Secondly and maybe not as importantly "Naki guy" is coming down again next Friday. I really like hanging out with him, skyping him, talking to him on the phone and facebooking him. However, I am still confused about what I think about us as a couple or potential couple...
I will try to keep you updated on my feelings but I find it all so confusing in my head that it is really hard to put into words. You could try playing Freud and tell me what I am thinking if you like.

camps and colds

Last week Bennett was on school camp, oh joy! It was a very pleasant and quiet week. I really wish I had made the most of the quietness because this week has been hellish. Not long after I picked Bennett up from the ferry he told me he had a sore throat, little did I know this was the a sign from the hellish week ahead, telling me to watch out (or possibly laughing a Nelson style HAHA at me, Nelson from The Simpsons that is) Either way I did not predict the doom.
Bennett was terribly sick on Monday night, keeping me awake all night with his wheezing and coughing, so he had the day off on Tuesday. I on the other hand, although exhausted from lack of sleep. soldiered on at school. Okay, this is mostly cause I hate being nurse and have very little sympathy for sick people, even to my darling son. So in fact I would MUCH rather be at school, therefore probably not technically soldiering.
However, 5th period at school I started to feel a little scratch in the back of my throat (insert another Nelson laugh here) Yes Karma, you are a bitch. By 4pm I was feeling really unwell and the rest they say is a snotty, coughing, crying, blubbering history. I think I may have a case of the man flu.
I have now been sick since Tuesday and really have been soldiering on. At school every day because my Drama students are way too close to performance to be left. I even have weekend rehearsals on Sunday to top off the pain. This is when I feel like I am not paid enough.

Hi, my name is teflon

If it seems to good to be true, it probably is. I had two amazing days with Naki guy only to find out that he doesn't want children. This unfortunately is a deal breaker for me, I am not old enough to rule that out of my future plans yet. And he didn't just say he didn't want them because that is what guys who don't have children say. He really does not want them, he would have the snip now if doctors would let him. And if he accidentally had them, he would send them to boarding school. How can such an amazing, lovely, sweet guy (who can plan not one, but three amazing dates) be so harsh when it comes to kids?
I know there are some people out there that don't ever want kids, and that is fine with me. I think that if they are that vehemently opposed it is best if they don't. But I have to wonder how a man who believes in boarding school would behave around my child.
I have given myself a new nickname, it is Teflon. Because I am like a non stick frying pan when it comes to men.

P.S. If there is anyone out there that is looking for an amazing guy but doesn't want children, then let me know cause I have uncovered the perfect man for you.

Guess what?

I have had the most amazing weekend! I went away to my second wedding this month - it was beautiful. Then I went to my niece's 5th birthday party, it was very sweet. Then I went on an amazing date - yes, you read it right and I am not being sarcastic. I went on an AMAZING date!
It was with a guy that I knew from high school. He once wrote me a poem in high school. I was horrified because he was a nice, funny, sweet and intelligent guy and I was totally into assholes at the time. (I was 16, that is my defense)
Anyway I saw him during the summer holidays, for the first time in 18 years and thankfully my tastes have changed. I am now quite fond of nice, funny, sweet and intelligent guys. We have been facebook messaging since we met up and on Saturday night he took me out on a date while I was up in New Plymouth. We were planning to go and see my friend and Ben Hurley do some stand up in Hawera but the tickets were sold out. He told me not to worry that he would work something out, and so he did! He picked me up just before sunset and drove me to one of the very nice beaches on the surf highway. The sun was setting and he pulled out brownies and hot chocolate sauce and feijoa wine (actually 3 wines that I got to choose from, I love feijoas) and then he whipped out his netbook and played some Ben Hurley stand up that he had downloaded for us to watch. He also bought a jacket for me to wear in case I was cold and a blanket. We stayed there for hours talking and reminiscing. We talked til 3am, when I finally decided I would have to go home because I had to travel to Wellington in the morning. It was the best date ever! And the cherry on the top of this story is he is travelling to Wellington on Wednesday to see me. Happiness.

I can post a photo

See Richard I can do it

weddings

Firstly, I would apologise for not having posted in an age, but I am not bloody sorry, and you have come to expect infrequent postings from me, so no need to apologise.
Today I went to a wedding. Weddings are beautiful and enjoyable and really quite moving. But how come I just come away from it feeling like a big old loser?
Is it because in 34 years not one single bloody person on the whole planet has ever wanted to marry me? That could be it, but I don't want to jump to any rash conclusions. The thing is I could go happily through life never getting married. Not because I don't believe in commitment for life, I do. But because I don't need the ceremony to be committed to someone. Even so, I would like someone to want to marry me. I am a pretty awesome person, but no one else seems to think so.
Right this is getting really depressing, so I shall run off and have a little scratch at my wrists in preparation for the wedding I have to go to in two weeks time. May as well start the self loathing early for that one.

Me at the wedding - sorry about it being sideways but I uploaded on to blogger before changing it and now I don't no how to change it - techno retard.

First days at school

8 years ago Bennett started primary school. He didn't want his photo taken to mark the milestone, but I insisted. Here are the charming photos that come from forcing your 5 year old son into having his photo taken.





Yesterday Bennett started high school. Again he didn't want his photo taken. I am not into pushing a stubborn teen into doing things if it is not really important. Why cause tension if you don't have to? So I thought I would be a little sneaky and take them after I dropped him at his friend's house. Sure they would be of him walking away, but I thought that could be symbolic of this major milestone - you know, his growing up and slowly distancing himself and severing the umbilical cord. In my head it was good. I was sneakily getting what I wanted, without causing tension and I could even claim some kind of symbolicness to it. That was in my head. The reality is this.





I ended up with blurry photos, where Bennett is merely a tiny yellow-hatted spot in the distance, and with my head out the window I looked like some crazy stalker of young boys.

money is flying away

As you know I just came back from a nice relaxing holiday - and even though it was not overseas, after paying for my mum, Bennett, me and my mums car on a return trip on the ferry, then paying for food and accommodation and activities while away, I was feeling like I was watching my money fly away. It was worth it, I needed a good break.
When I got back it seems my money had gotten so used to flying away from me, it decided to just keep going.
$840 - Bennett's compulsory netbook for school
$113 - Bennett's stationary for school (what the f**K - aren't you going to write in your netbook!)
$156 - flea treatment for two flea ridden cats, and two flea bombs for the house.
$50 something - WOF for car, which it fails for "exhaust leak"
$250 - fixing exhaust leak and getting the car serviced.
$720 - fixing the brake pads and shoes, and the back engine braces (that crumbled when pulled out)
$414 - the amount that still needs to be paid to fix the front engine braces which were damaged because the back ones were so badly damaged.
$300 plus - the amount it will then cost to get its new rego.
$290 - the amount I have to pay in the first couple of weeks of school for Bennett to attend camp.
$3133 - the cause of an hour and a half major panic attack this morning that had me in tears.

no more blood sucking

I believe I may have finally killed the fleas - sadly the cats are still alive. I am about to have the life sucked out of me in a different way though (no more blood sucking) but it is time to return to work...
I don't officially start until the 31st, when I have the absolute pleasure of two teacher only days...yawn...then the girls start on Wednesday, although I am fairly sure most of that day will be taken up with form time/admin stuff. I actually really like the start of a new year. It feels fresh and exciting and like anything is possible. I want to hold on to that feeling for as long as possible, so actually I am not going to engage in any negative talk about school(I may have to take back my comment about the life being sucked out of me).
On the non negative side of school talk; my sister has just started teachers college. As she has always been my brainy older sister, who knows it all, it is very nice being the one with the knowledge. The roles are reversed, except obviously I have not got older than her all of a sudden. I quite like being a bit of a know it all. Also today she spoke to one of her tutors, who is the chairman of the BOT at East and had a daughter in my Drama class last year, and he said to my sister how much his daughter loved being in my class. Being the know it all and getting the praise makes me feel so needed and loved.

A series of afflictions

Thurday morning - A racing heart.
the final day of our visit to the South Island was capped off with a 5.1 aftershock. It disrupted my dreams at 6.05am and left me with a racing heart and a real Christchurch experience. The South Island trip was amazing. In Kaikoura we sea kayaked out to a seal colony, in Christchurch we went to the Antarctic centre, the cathedral, the tram and Quail Island to see the lepers (dead ones) In Akaroa we went out on a boat to see the Hector's dolphin (if only I could have captured a picture of Bennett's excitement, he was like a little child again as the dolphins swam along the front of the boat) and we ate the most glorious fudge. In Little Akaloa we went to stay at my cousin's batch and read and ate food all day. So it seemed like a cherry on the top when my South Island trip was concluded with a shake.

Thursday evening - a dizzy head.
It seems motion sickness does not effect my tummy. At no point did I feel queasy sick crossing the Cook Straight, even though the boat was rocking and rolling on the very bumpy sea. But I felt so dizzy, even the next day I didn't feel right. Never mind, at least my Butter Chicken dinner didn't come to greet me again like it did for some other people.

Friday morning to present day - hundreds of itchy bites covering me from cheek to foot.
We came home to fleas. And despite over 100 dollars being spent on flea treatments and bombs, I still caught a live flea on my cheek this afternoon. I almost cried. If you have ever had the misfortune of tasting like a complete delicacy to a blood sucking insect, and therefore being covered with well over 50 bites you may understand my plight. But in addition to this I have been woken night after night as my bites warm up in bed and get so itchy I want scratch myself until I bleed and/or bruise. Then I spend a fortune bombing the house and cats only to find they are still alive. I loathe cats right now.

Look she swims...

..well floats actually!
It has been very lovely in Taradise of late and so I have been tempted into the pool. This is actually something of a miracle as although I really enjoy swimming it has to get really hot for me to want to get in there. So here I am, the bathing beauty.
Tomorrow I leave Taranaki. I love Taranaki like Richard loves basses but I have to say I am ready to go home - there is nothing like your own bed. And on Thursday me, Mum and Bennett head to the South Island so I will leave you imagining all the wonderful posts that are yet to come - oh the anticipation!

Badminton tournament time

If you are a long term reader of my blog and have a good memory you may remember that last year we had a family badminton tournament. Bennett has requested more of the same this year, but this year we have uped the game and made a real draw! (Bennett has also requested a real trophy, will have to see what the $2 shop has on offer)
I am currenly sitting second to last of the table, only my Aunt is below me. However, not all games have been played and I am feeling hopeful of coming back from behind.
Play has been delayed for the last two days as the weather has been a bit to windy and those shuttlecocks don't stand up to much wind. It is nice a calm today, so I am hoping today will be my day!
Here I intended to put in a few shots of the action but the computer says no.
I will put some action shots up and the results soon. Wait with bated breath.