Tuesday, June 14, 2011
Exhaustion
I think I might be on the brink of exhaustion. Today I cried at school. Not in front of a class, not because someone was angry with me, not cause I did anything wrong. But just because I am exhausted and I needed the world and the work to stop and it wouldn't.
My year 11 class have just had their first major production. I had two groups doing the same play, which meant twice as many rehearsals. In fact, last week it was every lunchtime for an hour, after school for almost 2 hours and in the weekend for 3 hours. After rehearsing in the weekend I had to write all of my senior reports because they were due today and I had no other time to write them. I was pretty sure I didn't have a weekend.
Only to come back to school on Monday and Tuesday and put in 12 hour days. Teaching, rehearsing, technical run through and performance at night. Oh how I was looking forward to Wednesday. Until some lovely person reminded me that Wednesday night was Open evening. Where all the parents of potential year 9 students come and wander around the highly decorated school and I wax lyrical about all the wonderful things I can do for their Gifted and Talented students (as this is my new role this year)
My give-a-fuck-ometer died today at 3pm as I was trying to set up my display. And I cried. I am tired and want school to stop. I feel a mental health day coming on, sadly it will be spent writing junior reports from home.
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i don't cry at school.
ReplyDeleteI just scream internally.
Then I kick the kids or the staff.
Very satisfying.
BTW, my own don't-give-a-flying-fuck meter gave up the ghost and expired 3.2 minutes after the day I started teaching.
http://www.fishpond.co.nz/Books/How-to-Deal-with-Teachers-Who-are-Angry-Troubled-Exhausted-or-Just-Plain-Confused-Elaine-K-McEwan-Adkins-Edited-by/9780761938194
ReplyDeleteSorry to hear that. I heard on National Radio similar stories of teachers who are exhausted. I admit to mocking the profession in the past (OK, yes, and recently) when I believed teaching was a 9 to 3 job with lots of holidays. Having friends who are teachers has taught me differently. But, we all get tired. I had to get up at 8.55 this morning. My walk was tiring and the golf? Man, I played 9 holes. It was all I could do to drag myself home for a cup of tea and home-made biscuits while watching Eggheads at 4PM.
Hang in there Fflur. Term 2 is always a tough one - I've been getting to school between 6.30am and 7 just to try to stay on top of things. Friday has arrived again - that's always a good thing (except for having 11 music in a bloody science lab last period - was TSB on the timetable commitee?). On the positive side, you've posted!
ReplyDeleteI just wrote a long comment and lost it when I tried to post it - bloody annoying!
ReplyDeleteHang in there Fflur.
Oops, it was posted!
ReplyDeleteOh stink!! You poor thing!! Hope you are having a better weekend this weekend!! xxxr
ReplyDeleteDoh- it's actually Rochelle but hubby left his Google account signed in....
ReplyDelete