Aren't children grand

My son seems so much more lovable when he is many miles away, he even manages to sound cuter on the phone. In some ways I enjoy Bennett's company much more now; he can hold down a pretty decent conversation (when he is not getting all preteen and pre-man- monosyllabic on it)I love that he is mostly independent, and that we can watch shows together that we both enjoy. There is however a reason he is more lovable when he is far away - and that reason is because he is far away. This week I don't have to put up with: a smelly preteen using my bathroom, telling someone to go to bed, washing his clothes or cooking his tea (I am fully aware he could be doing these things but I am not that kind of mother) listening to endless monologues about rugby teams, cricket teams, Paul Henry's jokes and the progress of his farm on farmville. Nor do I have to listen to any retellings of what happened on Top Gear, Family Guy, The Cleveland Show or the The Big Bang Theory.
It is very quiet without him around but I have many plans for this week - I get to do all the things he loathes without hearing a whimper or a moan.

Dear God...

Today I was informed by facebook that the last of my friends from high school is getting married. Bugger, she has left me all alone in the horrid world of singledom to become one of the smug married. I feel like Will Smith's character in I am Legend when he is the only person left of the planet - I am the only one left on planet single and the horrible deformed people that I have to fight off are either all those bloody married or partnered up types or my own fears of being single (have not decided on that part of the analogy yet) I would like it better if I was not battling my own demons. I know I may complain about being single a lot but there is a bloody good reason for it, in fact more than one! I won't bore you with the details but if anyone knows the direct dial number or the email address of cupid, mother nature, God...or anyone in the know, I would like to contact them so I can lodge a formal complaint. It would go something like this...
Dear God,
what the fuck??? Please amend urgently, any single men considered.
Yours gratefully,
Fflur

Appeasing Richard

Richard (of RBB) has been complaining that my blog has not had any posts for sometime. I would like to state that this is because for the last week I have had a life. Bennett went away on camp (all the way in the South Island) and as a consequence I actually did stuff that I don't normally get to do. I went out to cafes (without having to buy loads of chocolate bribes to keep a preteen quiet) I went shopping (without having a preteen sighing and moaning in my ear) I went to the pub on a Wednesday night (without having to lock my preteen in his room with a box of matches and a tin of baked beans) and I went to the movies (and I got to choose something I wanted to see!) This was all very exciting stuff. It made me not want to write blogs, or cook and write blogs about cooking. It made me dream...I dreamed of the day in less than 2 years time when he turns 14 and I can do this stuff all the time. Here's hoping the predictions of 2012 are not right or I won't get to live the dream.
Richard, I hope this fulfills my obligations. If it doesn't I have been given a fail safe recipe for cupcakes that I plan to make this weekend. There has to be a post in that...

Today Brownies, tomorrow the world...

Oh the delights


Today I made Brownies. I feel like that may be all I need to say on this matter but I will indulge you with a little commentary. Maybe this is not an amazing thing to most people (or in the grand scheme of things) but to a wee young lass like myself this is quite extraordinary. The last time I attempted to bake I was almost shipped off to the mental institution. I threw pans, I cried real tears and I called my mum and my sister to vent and ask for advice; and by time I left the kitchen it looked like a classroom after a reliever had been in. This time I only swore once, I didn't cry and I only rang my mum after it was all said and done, to tell her of my achievements and let her congratulate me. What will the next achievement be for me, one can only wonder...

Bennett partaking in the delights

I don't like rain

I was at a cafe this afternoon (which is something very nice to do after school now that I work in town) when what could be described as a flash storm took hold. I was parked quite far away from said cafe because everyone it seems likes to do the same thing on a Friday. I had many cafe delights while watching the storm scatter people past the window of the cafe. But by half five I realised I was going to have to become one of the scattered people and make my way back to the car. I started at a mild run up a mild hill to my car but some 2 minutes into the run my lungs and legs complained, so I was resigned to walking the rest of the way. When I made it back to my car I had rain dripping from the end of my nose, eyelashes, cuffs and squelching about my shoes. Being cold also makes me the bitch from hell. So cold, miserable and muttering swear words under my breath I drove home; with steamed up windows and the heater on full blast. I made it home and instead of being greeted with a nice warm, dry house, I found that the window in my bedroom had decided this rain was just too much to bear and had given up doing its job. My mattress, pillows, carpet and a few books are now worshiping the dehumidifier in the somewhat vain hope that it can restore them to their former glory. So there I was with wet clothes and a wet room thinking things could get no worse. Oh ye of little faith – don’t you know things always come in threes! “ Mum, I smell smoke” was the next thing to greet me. The end of this little story is that I now HAVE NO TV!!!!!!! The rain has also seeped through a wall and has caused a little damage which means there has been some sort of short circuiting or something – who the hell knows – all I know is I HAVE NO TV! So I don’t like the rain and I am now left wondering what people did before TVs – not blogging I bet, thank goodness some technology as survived! I would hate to think I would have to actually talk to my son.

Apprently I care - who knew?

Today I started my interim reports - these are designed to let parents know how their little darlings/geniuses are settling into school. At the previous school I taught at these have turned into a major undertaking - not too dissimilar to writing a thesis. At my new school I have to complete 5 drop boxes on each student(on various things like homework, attitude etc). For each drop box I have 3 choices G = good S = satisfactory C - cause for concern.
Well I have a cause for concern and it is not caused by anyone of my students. In none of my 5 drop boxes was there an area that allowed me to comment on whether they were finding the work hard. There was one of class work but only on their attitude or effort. I am concerned cause I have some students in my year 9 English class who behave beautifully, attempt all work with enthusiasm, complete all homework, bring all their stuff to class - but they just do not comprehend all surface or any depth of the work we have been doing. I feel restricted by not being able to write a comment - I want to say "I have concerns for your daughters understanding of the work" but there is nowhere! Who knew that when I was given the dream result (interim reports with drop boxes - things I only dreamed of previously) that I wouldn't actually be happy. Who knew I would care so much, so much that I had to write a blog! Not all students need a comment at this stage, but some do and damn it I wish I could give it without having to write a thesis. Is there any perfect world to report writing - I think not, perhaps we should ban them altogether. As a parent, I get two reports per year and I find it completely adequate. Stop giving teachers so much work and stress. End rant.

Domestic Goddess

I have been hunting for a hobby so that I may become a more interesting person with more things to talk about, other than work and parenting. Rochelle(new friend from school - small mention of work there sorry) suggested that I take up cooking - I laughed. Anyone that knows me well knows that me and kitchens are like quiet church prayers and farts - we don't mix. I decided giving another new meal a shot was kinda like trying to sneak a quiet fart out in church; I held my breath hoping my new meal would not turn into a silent but viloent fart (perhaps I have taken this analogy to far)
I downloaded a meal from the food in a minute website - cause they always make those meals look so easy and quick. I made creamy tomato fettuccine, and it was so delicious (there could be a reference here about farting in an appropriate place or something but I will bypass that) Bennett was pleased, I was pleased, and I secretly thought my boyfriend would be pleased - if I had one that is (this was the stupid part of my brain that thought I possibly didn't have a boyfriend cause I could only cook approx 5 meals)
I am a happy little domestic goddess with a full belly now, and I have told the stupid part of my brain to shut up.