If it seems to good to be true, it probably is. I had two amazing days with Naki guy only to find out that he doesn't want children. This unfortunately is a deal breaker for me, I am not old enough to rule that out of my future plans yet. And he didn't just say he didn't want them because that is what guys who don't have children say. He really does not want them, he would have the snip now if doctors would let him. And if he accidentally had them, he would send them to boarding school. How can such an amazing, lovely, sweet guy (who can plan not one, but three amazing dates) be so harsh when it comes to kids?
I know there are some people out there that don't ever want kids, and that is fine with me. I think that if they are that vehemently opposed it is best if they don't. But I have to wonder how a man who believes in boarding school would behave around my child.
I have given myself a new nickname, it is Teflon. Because I am like a non stick frying pan when it comes to men.
P.S. If there is anyone out there that is looking for an amazing guy but doesn't want children, then let me know cause I have uncovered the perfect man for you.
Man you work fast.
ReplyDeleteTwo dates and you are talking about having children!
Things have changed since I was 'dating'
It was not like we were talking about us having children. We were just talking about life in general and it came up. He asked me first if I ever wanted more kids. I am glad it came up fast, before I really fell for him.
ReplyDeleteThis makes me sad. Fflur (of RBB) don't give up on him just yet; men say silly things - I remember why Ungrateful Comeinyourpants managed to stay celebate for a long time and he's turned out okay; well, sort of. Give this guy another go, or two. Mould him, as only women can do. Teach him. Come on, we all know you women are good at that! Come on Fflur, it's not over until the fat lady sings.
ReplyDeleteDo I want to spend years moulding him only to find out it was all hopeless, and in the meantime my eggs have all died?
ReplyDeleteHiya Teflon. Are you sure you want any more? Isn't Bennett enough?
ReplyDeleteMaybe with this guy and Bennet you'll be complete.
GOD, this sounds like a problem page in a women's magazine. Especially as my beloved (and my son) are sitting and watching Diane Keaton cry her eyes out in "Something's Gotta Give"
I think sometimes it's worth trying it for a bit, sometimes "he" turns out to be different than you expected (or you know, christian) and you work through it. And you dealing with less than perfect in them means you knowing they can deal with less than perfect in you.
ReplyDeleteMinds change and people say all kinds of things to protect themselves (sometimes in your 30s you need to justify not having babies yet and it turns into your truth), or maybe you find your own priorities change.
IMHO (if I may use such a term) a couple of good dates is worth a few months of fun and protected sex. Try it for the lesson and know it's leading you in the right direction, rather than throw it away and enjoy. If you only do what you've always done etc.
I have no doubt that loves out there for you, he just may be in disguise coz the world's good like that.
PS If you met Mr Right and he wanted kids but couldn't have them what would you do?
Add a comma and an apostrophe to help that read better- I may have had a wine or 2.
ReplyDeleteLauren! Posting after a wine or two! And you expect us to take you seriously? In my experience the best advice takes at least three!
ReplyDeleteNay, but seriously folks... good advice Lauren.
After all, a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush.
Give the guy a little longer and enjoy his company.
It is good advice Lauren, and after my initial shock I have started to calm down a bit. I think my initial reaction may have been fueled by all the rejection and weirdos I have come across over the past 5 years, and I decided to run before he could.
ReplyDeleteIf Mr Right did come along and could not have kids I know I would stay with him. I am prepared to put in a bit more time and effort to see where this might go. You know what also throws me off, is that some people have already started to call him my boyfriend. For a recovering commitment-phobe this is too much and makes me want to run faster than Carl Lewis on steroids.
Good to see you are going to give it a go. Lauren's advice is great! But what does IMHO mean?
ReplyDelete