Today is the day the new fire should be installed. I was woken bright and early by the ringing of the door bell. My goodness, I thought as I jumped out of bed and tried to make my hair presentable, the tradesmen are here well before they said they would arrive! Oh ye of little faith! But never fear fellow readers your faith in tradesmen and their uselessness will soon be restored. It was in fact a delivery man, delivering a package for the tradesmen, who turned up when he said he would and not a minute sooner.
What does one do when tradesmen are working away in your house? (apart from blogging of course) How much small talk does one have to engage in? Does one have to offer tea and cookies like you are a hostess? Or should I just offer to show him where my panty drawer is?
The correct protocol is to make many pots of tea (tea bags are not acceptable). Tea should be strongly brewed. Cookies are not de rigueur but a ham sandwich wouldn't go amiss. Leaving the panty drawer slightly open is suggested but overtly indicating it is not. Tradesmen are shy and fondling undergarments is strictly a private undertaking. Slightly bending forward to hand the tradesman a cup whilst showing cleavage is good but avert your eyes so that he thinks he can see without you knowing. This avoids unnecessary embarrassment.
ReplyDeleteGod,
ReplyDeleteand I used to think that I was twisted.
TC, you're not supposed to tell everyone about your fantasies.
What goes in the mind is kept in the mind.
Unless you like spending time at Her Majesties pleasure?
TSB,
ReplyDeleteYou have to remember that Comeinyourpants spent the first twenty five years of his life looking out windows at nice harbours, oh, and nice looking young ladies. Please don't judge him. His best fantasies are far superior to anything that happens in real life. 'Comeinyourpants', among those who choose to dream, is not a title earned lightly.