Sunday, July 25, 2010

How to make a cake...

Step one: put all the ingredients on the counter so you can take a photo for your blog.

Step two: Don't notice that you have got the wrong Betty Crocker packet out of your pantry (you have picked up the brownie one instead) and just go ahead and pour the packet into the bowl.
Step three: question why there is brown and white chocolate drops in a cake mix.
Step four: Look at packet and give yourself a mental headslap.
Step five: Get other Betty Crocker packet out of pantry and exclaim how alike they look, and how anyone could get them confused. Betty really should do something to make them not look so alike.
Step six: Decide to write Betty a letter to let her know of your excellent ideas about product packaging.
Step seven: Cook brownies because mix is already in the bowl.
Step eight: Empty right packet into bowl and mix with ingredients you had to forage and put together yourself (ones that didn't come in the packet!!!, perhaps another letter to Betty?) Dear Betty, is it really that hard to put an egg or two in the packet...
Step Nine: talk to sister and mother on the phone while your cake is cooking and get two sets of advice. Sister "take out after 40mins, or at least check cause my oven cooks quicker than says on packet" Mother "don't open oven until the time it says, peeking is not good for cake" Cakes must be shy of their cooking process.
Step Ten: Go with sisters advice. Open oven after 40 mins to discover it is well and truly cooked and well and truly sunken in the middle.

Step eleven: Cry. Say to self "see this is why you don't cook, you are always a failure, even with Betty's help"
Step twelve: devise cunning plan to ice the cake upside down so that the top looks perfect. Also decide to put on sprinkles to distract the eater from the burnt bottom(previously known as burnt top)

Step thirteen: Feel pleased with self at cunning deception.
Step fourteen: Feed to students, who are all very pleased. Then clever Amanda sees through my deceptive ways and says "is this a Betty Crocker cake Miss?"


  1. I think Amanda needs that head slap

  2. haha i always turn my cakes upside down so the top is always smooth when i ice it like bakery cakes XD
    I also agree that betty's packing could do with work...

  3. Well done Fflur. Bennett will enjoy it, or is it for school?

  4. Well done Fflur.
    Tell us tomorrow how your survivors, sorry pupils enjoyed it.

  5. Clever Amanda is a real student, and that was the reaction. Well, actually the first reaction was that they loved it, then they all laughed at my ability to cook when they found out it was a Betty cake. Laughed nicely that is

  6. hahahahhahahaha. This is funnier that Richard's last twenty nine posts combined. Good job on the cake.

  7. "hahahahhahahaha. This is funnier that Richard's last twenty nine posts combined."
    Well, at least my blog updates regularly, has things about basses and has a feline interest.

  8. "Well, at least my blog updates regularly, has things about basses and has a feline interest"

    You mean it's quick, deep and smelly?

  9. Hello Fflur dear. One of my earlier students at St M's alerted me to your blog. It is so nice having you in our little community. You are very lucky in that most of the girls at your college are lovely, sweet young things and it is nice to know that they are in safe hands.
    Just one thing though dear, I don't think that it is a good thing to talk about picking up men in bars. Diane Keaton came to a bad end in that movie by doing that and I do think that it sets a bad example don't you?If you like we could have a wee chat over a cup of tea sometime. Why don't you wander down the hill some lunch time. Don't bring anything (I'll bake!).
    Hope to see you soon.

  10. Fflur,
    pay no attention to this Elma person. I fyou want to pick up hot young men in bars, you go right ahead. That is your right (and arguably your responsibility) as a young attractive woman.
    If Elma is real, and not a construct of one of the many deranged imaginations found in our little blogging world, then you can still safely ignore her. She's a Social Studies teacher for God's sake, and we all know how relevant they are. Just ask J-P. Everyone always listens to him.

  11. Yes FFlur.
    I agree with the humorous Twisted Scottish Bastard.
    Elma sounds a bit prudish to me. Maybe she needs to get to know our Scottish witty friend.
    Aurel Mueller